2009 Unemployment Olympics

To all you unemployed people out there: if lately you've been watching your employed friends partake in all sorts of things that you can't - ie eating and drinking, your luck has changed. Now, an event just for you.

The first ever Unemployment Olympics, open only to those who can prove they've been laid off, will take place on the 31st of this month in Tompkins Square Park.

Events will include a blindfolded Pin the Blame on the Bosses, a "Race to the Unemployment Office," and, of course, a pinata (talk about necessary stress relief.)

Prizes are designed to help the winner cover the necessities: they range from a $50 bar tab to a monthly unlimited metrocard, and include gift certificates from local businesses.

Tompkins Square Park is a fitting venue for the event, given its long shared history with New York unemployment. Over the years it has filled all sorts of roles, from host to labor riots (in 1857, 1863, 1874, 1988) to home to New York's homeless - many, presumably, unemployed.

Street Food, It's Always Been You

If you are unemployed and still waiting to land that career-tracked Dream Job that has something to do with your college major or your interests: forget it, that ship has sailed. But your cart has arrived.

Workman's Cycles, a bicycle manufacturer in Queens, is calling our attention to the wonderful opportunity that is the food cart. They are adapting to recession by moving away from their traditional product and towards building food vending carts, anticipating business from people who have lost their jobs and are seeking a new means of income.

At $3,000, these carts can be considered a recession-friendly way to begin your exciting career as an entrepreneur or venture capitalist. (That heartwarming gem is for the convo where you ask your parents/friends for a loan. Thank me later.)

The best part of this is that now all new yorkers, employed or otherwise, now have a WHOLE NEW reason to rationalize indulging in the deliciously unhealthy street food that New York is famous for. Eat away, you are helping the common man!

The Best Money is Slow Money

As the recession unfolds, it seems that small is the new big, slow is the new fast, and change is the new stability.

So, with traditional investment plans now essentially amounting to financial suicide, the time has come to get creative with our cash. Luckily, opportunities abound for investing in fledgling projects that have time on their side.

NPR's All Things Considered recently profiled farmer Dante Hesse who runs Milk Thistle farm in Ghent, N.Y. In lieu of a traditional bank loan, Hesse is appealing to his (loyal but small) base of customers to subsidize the $700,000 that he needs to expand the farm and grow the business.

His plan is representative of a new approach to business that could come to displace the current hegemony of mainstream U.S. economics. Woody Tasch is a guy with 30 years experience in economics and venture capitalism who just wrote a book called Inquiries into the Nature of Slow Money. Its a manifesto for the Slow Money Alliance, which Tasch founded. The mission of the alliance is "to design new capital markets built not around extraction and consumption, but around preservation and restoration." Their vision? "Billions of dollars a year supporting tens of thousands of independent, local-first enterprises at the base of the restorative economy."

In his NPR interview, Tasch said that its time to challenge the assumption that growth is good and the marketplace knows best, saying "I've just had it with all of this so-called 'making-a-killing expertise,' which is actually killing the planet. I think one of the antidotes is daring to move to the other side of our brain, and kind of put down all that economic and fiduciary nonsense and just act like regular people." Love it!

Get the book here or read an excerpt of it here.
Get the milk here.

With traditional investment plans now essentially amounting to financial suicide, the time has come to get creative with your cash. Luckily, opportunities abound for investing in fledgling projects that have time on their side.

NPR's All Things Considered recently profiled Dante Hesse who runs Milk Thistle farm in Ghent, N.Y. because Hesse has decided to appeal to his (loyal but small) base of customers to subsidize the $700,000 loan that he needs to expand the farm and grow the business.

His plan is representative of a new approach to business that could come to displace the current hegemony of mainstream U.S. economics. Woody Tasch is a hugely interesting dude with 30 years experience as a venture capitalist who just wrote a book called Inquiries into the Nature of Slow Money. Its a manifesto for the Slow Money Alliance, which Tasch founded. The mission of the alliance is "to design new capital markets built not around extraction and consumption, but around preservation and restoration." Their vision? "Billions of dollars a year supporting tens of thousands of independent, local-first enterprises at the base of the restorative economy."

In his NPR interview, Tasch said that its time to challenge the assumption that growth is good and the marketplace knows best, saying "I've just had it with all of this so-called 'making-a-killing expertise,' which is actually killing the planet. I think one of the antidotes is daring to move to the other side of our brain, and kind of put down all that economic and fiduciary nonsense and just act like regular people."

Get the book here or read an excerpt of it here. Get the milk here.

Does This Recession Make Me Look Fat?

Reports are cropping up of a certain growing schlumpiness among the American public since the recession hit. Some commenting on the trend are women relieved at the emerging fashion laxity, and others are horrified.

Boston.com reported the phenomenon from the perspective of two Prudential Center sales associates, under-occupied of late. According to these girls, the Bostonians they see walking "have no style." "It is blah," they insightfully added.

Ignoring for a moment that Bostonians have always dressed terribly, there's something here worth considering. A real estate exec quoted in the Boston.com article said she was relieved to escape excessive workplace fashion expectations and another said she's feels free of the pressure to dye her gray hair because "people are more forgiving now."

This trend is on line with some other encouraging effects of the recession revolving around the curbing of excessive consumption and the unexamined exaltation of superficial treasures. Not to mention an exciting and necessary shift toward fresh and different ideas, in every area from fashion to energy solutions and financial investments. All signs point to a growing willingness to get real and get creative. Perhaps this savings-driven schlumpification will mark a nationwide cleanse of appearance obsession.

Bring on the dark roots and stray eyebrow hairs!

Haagen-Dazs Hoax

The New York Times Economics blog reported this week that Haagen-Dazs is using the recession as an excuse to skimp on the volume of its pints of ice cream, downsizing their standard pint to 14 oz from 16. WHAT THE?!?!

First of all, the price of milk has been going down since the recession hit, which if anything should have reduced costs for manufactures of ice cream and other dairy products by now.

And accordingly, first quarter earnings reported by General Mills, owner of Haagen-Dazs, indicate that the company is in fact doing just fine.

Finally, H-G's case isn't helped by the fact that good old Ben and Jerry's has vowed to keep offering the full 16 oz, acknowledging that “Now more than ever, you deserve your full pint of ice cream.” I happen to agree.

This trick has some precedent, but mostly in "gallon" sizes. It's desperate times, and apparently, stingy companies are getting bolder and bolder...

ps. generic brand Dolly Madison sells perfectly good pints for $1.50 at bodegas all over Brooklyn, so why anyone is still buying Haagen-Dazs is beyond me anyway.