A Chocolate "Fling": The Latest in Bizarre Recession-era Advertising

The pushers are getting desperate, people.

The marketing campaign for Mars' new candy bar, 'The Fling' eagerly takes the advertising maxim "sex sells" to a whole new level of obvious. And, frankly, it's creepy.

Even aside from the packaging, which is pink, glittery, and made me throw up a little inside my mouth, the campaign is something to behold. The commercials are racy, each bar is referred to as a "finger," and the candy's motto declares that 'The Fling' is "naughty, but not that naughty" (another attention grabber: "pleasure yourself with a chocolate finger.")

Presumably, the naughty bit applies because the bar has only 85 calories (only naughty girls eat real candy, duh) but the whole thing makes a girl wonder just what kind of naughty they're talking about.

And that is precisely the point.

It seems that ad campaigns become more and more bizarre during a recession, as companies try desperately to grab a share of the diminishing buying power of their audience with a no-holds-barred approach. In this case it's innuendo that's....well, not.

Parks and Rec Department Membership: a No-Brainer

If you are secretly glad that you "can't afford" a gym membership and are tragically forced to abandon your workout regimen until you get a promotion/job/winning lottery ticket, I have bad news.

The NYC Parks and Recreation Department has locations all over the city with full recreation centers - that means weight room, cardio equipment, basketball courts, and swimming pool.

The price of membership is....wait for it.... seventy-five dollars.
For the year.

The quality of the Rec centers varies (midtown manhattan location is much nicer than the south bronx....go figure!) but most are decent, and some are equal to NYC Sports Club gyms.

Just go to the Parks and Rec site to find the center nearest to you, and bring an ID, proof of address and a check for $75 when you sign up. The membership is good for all centers in the five boroughs no matter where you sign up

No excuses, my little recessionists!

The Dawn of the Superdive

With keg service and a no-holds-barred mix-your-own policy, a new bar on 12th St. and Avenue A just might turn Alphabet City into Ralph-a-bet city.

Modeled like "a suburban basement rec room circa 1964" Superdive is sure to attract the batch of college grads who flock to New York each year (not to mention the underage undergrads here for the summer, a clientele that the owners don't seem particularly concerned about discouraging.)

I'm certainly intrigued... i mean, there's a pinball machine. Enough said.

But the most fascinating thing about Superdive is what its opening says about the culture of leisure these days. It marks the ushering in of what a New York Times article called the "low-key, communal vibe" that has been rising in popularity since the recession began and the culture of greed that inspired it received some well-deserved critical examination.

My friends, it pleases me to report that $400 bottle service, reservations, dress codes and exclusivity are out and good old fashioned, dirt-cheap fun is in.

Grand Opening, Grand Closing.

Sadly, not just a Jay-Z lyric anymore (...God damn, your man Hov' cracked the can open again!)

You know things aren't going well when a Grand Opening coincides with the same store's closing sale.

(picture from Huffington Post)

Recession 101 Billboards: Amusing or Annoying?

Ad man Charlie Robb says that the anonymous client who thought up the series of "Recession101" billboards appearing all over the nation "wants people to quit freaking out about the economy."

The campaign (which consists of over 1,000 billboards) is now sponsored by the Outdoor Advertising Association of America, which spends $400 million each year on public service campaigns.

Other "Recession 101" messages include:

- "Don't switch to cheaper scotch. Drink slower."

- "Nobody can repossess your future."

-"Bill Gates started Microsoft during a recession."

- “The only downturns comparable to this were in: 1797, 1807, 1819, 1837, 1857, 1873, 1893, 1907, 1918, 1929, 1937,1945, 1948, 1953, 1957, 1960, 1969, 1973, 1980, 1981 1990, 2001 and… Hmm? …never mind.” and

- "Interesting thing about recessions... they end."

Personally, I can't help but find it a little annoying that some guy with the time and money to spend on a frivolous campaign feels entitled to tease others - who may have, oh, recently lost their jobs or houses - for feeling a little desperate.

The Death of Macho in the Great He-cession

Of all the factors that might correlate with overconfident investment in financial markets (age, marital status, socioeconomic upbringing, education) the most obvious factor is simple, small, and impossible to control. It's the Y chromosome. At least that's what behavioral finance economists Brad Barber and Terrance Odean demonstrated in 2001 with their study on "gender, overconfidence, and common stock investment" ("Boys Will Be Boys.")

For years, macho bravado in this country has been artificially supported - subsidized, you could say - by U.S. economic policy. As Reihan Salam notes in "The Death of Macho," the now-popped housing bubble translated during its apex into bubbles of construction jobs - and with them unrealistic, unsustainable job security and pay for the over ten million men employed by that industry. The boom in the housing market also meant inflated income in sectors like cement production, truck transport, and architecture - also male dominated fields.

And now, accordingly, the recession is having its greatest effect on men. More than 80 percent of job losses in the United States since November have fallen on men, according to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics. All told, by the end of 2009, the global recession is expected to put as many as 28 million men out of work worldwide, projects Salam.

But subsidized machismo goes all the way back to the New Deal, when a huge effort was made to revive the figurehead of the male breadwinner, who had been kicked in the balls by the Depression. This effort was made at the general expense of women, who were sent to the kitchen and expected to be happy with the "economic security" provided by their government-employed husbands. Essentially, as historian Stephanie Coontz writes in her book, The Way We Never Were, women were promised economic security in exchange for the state’s entrenchment of male economic power.

Well, the false sense of security generated by all that contrived support for the male ego backfired, as now men are not only unemployed (again) but also undereducated (statistics indicate that soon there will be three female college graduates for every two male graduates in the United States) and psychologically ill-equipped to deal with unemployment.

So the US can expect to see a whole bunch of bummed-out bros in the years to come. But to what effect? Well, an increase in rates of heavy drinking, for one, says Social Science & Medicine magazine, and also decreased rates of marriage, which has been found by Economist Eric D. Gould to be a factor that correlates with both economic and educational achievement in men.

So as the Recession barrels on, slapping everyone it meets with a nice fat reality check, the “macho” man can choose to adapt or to resist, to evolve or to be left behind and rendered historically obsolete. The choices men make may divide them geographically or culturally, by religion or by class. Only time will tell, and we can only hope that more dudes than not choose to embrace the death of macho.

Recession Weddings: Party Like its $19.99

Well, it is now officially wedding season, which for many a lovestruck 20-something means stress, starvation, pain, tears, and, above all else, debt.

The average cost for U.S. weddings peaked in 2007 at an unbelievable $28,000 - this is enough dough for a down payment on a house, a brand new car, or a romantic cruise for two around Europe - ten times over. And all of this is spent in one measly day!

So far in 2009 the average is down to $22,000 and falling, due to the recession slapping some sense into the wedding-crazed. Here are some popular cost-saving tips making the rounds.

Don't give out party favors. This isn't a 3rd grade birthday party where your guests are little goobers desperate to prolong their sugar high with a doggy bag of cheap candy. Wedding favors are a recent invention, and are not necessary or even appreciated - most are left behind on the table.
Do your own music - a professional wedding band can cost anywhere from 2,400 to over $5,000. Save it for the honeymoon (or your rent) by plugging an ipod into some good speakers. This also allows you to avoid all of the unknowns that come with a wedding band (think bitter Adam Sandler singing "Love Stinks" to the happy couple in Wedding Singer.)
Never say "bridal." Retailers salivate at the word, because it means the stakes are high and you will pay whatever it takes to find the right whateveritis. That makes you, my friend, the sucker. "Bridal" shoes typically cost twice as much as regular dress shoes that could easily fit a wedding theme, and don't even get me started on the "bridesmaids." Its almost impossible to find "bridesmaid" dresses for less than $300, and no one wants to wear OR see a "bridesmaid" dress anyway! Use your imagination and find some nice dresses (no taffeta or pastels) without the "bridesmaid" label. Shh, no one will know.
Barter. I've said it before, and I'll say it again. When money is short, kick it pre-capitalism style and exchange goods for services. See if any of the wedding vendors have a use for one of your many skills and talents, or offer to advertise their services on your wedding program for a discount.
The Dress. Many brides are not willing to compromise when it comes to The Dress, but wedding dresses are sometimes the most expensive element of the whole affair (the average dress is $1,000 and many are upwards of $4,000) Buy a second hand dress and you could save half. Encorebridal.com and PreOwnedWeddingDresses.com are two popular sites but their prices are still outrageous - BravoBride is a better bet if you actually want to spend less than $500.